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The Element of Freedom

“I’m back!”

The great Jordanine returns.

And she wishes she wasn’t.

I spent 5 days in KL WITHOUT my parents and turns out to be the best 5 days I’ve ever spent in my holidays. It’s just so great, I get to do everything and get things of my mind. I love FREEDOM. I don’t even have to brush my teeth for days and no one will know.

Ok, Just kidding I DID brush my teeth. TWO TIMES per day. That is just a metaphor to describe how great (or disgusting) freedom is.

Anyway, this is what I did in 5 days:

1. Swimming.
2. Eating
3. Shopping
4. Hanging out with cousins.
5. Attending cousin’s cousin’s dinner. (no error here, I really mean it)
6. Swimming
7. Swimming
8. Eating
9. Shopping (times 6)
10. Eating
11. Having fun at Sunway Theme and Water park.
12. Shopping at pyramids.
13. Eating (times 12)
14. Swimming (times 10)
15. And more.

I think you’re going to ask why I get to swim every day. Well, I live with my aunt in a condo, and there’s a pool. Every day I wake up at 8, eat breakfast, swim. At 4 pm, go to swim, after 3 hours have dinner. This is one life routine I enjoyed. I LOVE to swim!!!

Except that right now I got a few pimples and my hair is awful. I hate chlorine!

And I didn’t bring a camera. So by the time I became 60 or something, I’ll forget that I’ve been through this 5 best day of my life and I’ll think that life’s not fair and I’ll be waiting for death.

Luckily I have a blog that would last forever.

Or not until 2012.

Oh please, that movie is nonsense and crap. I didn’t even bother or care or whatever to watch that ridiculous, stupid movie. I know many of you had watch it and you think it’s great and exciting. But, I don’t care.

Hey, does anybody have the DVD of 2012? I want to borrow.

For my sister. Yeah…

I got to go catch up with next year’s homework. Bye!

XOXO
Jordan T.

Crappy Memories

All, my primary school friends, prepare to get humiliated. This is what I do on free time – humiliating others, my hobby…

When we’re standard three, most of the girls own this book, where you let all your friends to write in their biography, though you already know theirs. There’s really no point making this whole crappy procedure but wasting a scrap book unless you’re leaving town, but we still does it, cause it’s FUN!

And now I’m looking at the book. It’s pretty funny; all of us are just standard 3. Check these out.

Jason, the hunky guy actually drew this. Seems like my high heels couldn’t hold my weight. The third girl is me.


And Vien made the biggest mistake in her life.


Wen Jen the famous post in history wrote a crappy, lame poem.




Jenny, how can turn me into Currella De Jordan?


Ironic huh, Wendy Toh Woon Nee?


No, I’m not throwing that away. I’m keeping it, and maybe after few decades, I’ll publish in the new paper.

XOXO
Jordan T.

The Final Touch

For the last 5 weeks, my family and I have been discussing and arguing and convincing about our vacation location. And finally, I’ve made my mind.

Before I announce my decision, I’d like to thank my parents who made the Jordan today. I’d also like to thank Jessica, who had suggested many ideas for me, though they are useless but that’d been a very good… starting for my idea.

Now, the moment that you all are waiting for, I’m spreading out my holiday plan. On the 18th of December, JUST me and my sister would be going to Sunway Lagoon with my cousin, and while we’re there, we’d be attending my cousin’s cousin’s wedding. It’s not a repeating error, it’s true. Even though I couldn’t be sure that if they recognize us, but I believe that as long as we bless them in our deep heart’s core, they’ll be grateful.

And somewhere in the end of December, my family and I will go to Bangkok to be a 24/7 shopaholic. That’s all.

I don’t know why I put the title as “The Final Touch”, it just came to my mind. The title seemed exciting but the article is all about craps. I’m telling you this just to get an excuse for not blogging nowadays.

Gosh, I’m don’t know what’s up to me. I’ve been all weird and dramatic since. I even hate Galaxie. Who am I?

C-Hottie = Not My Type After All

I officially announce this: I hate C-Hottie. And no, I’m not drunk. At least, not yet.

I realize I haven’t seen him clearly for the past few months. Forget about what I said in “C-Hottie In Town”, when I reread the post, I couldn’t believe how stupid and idiotic I am. At the past, I’m a fish in a little pond of C’s, hypnotized by him every time he fed me, observing every move he made. But when I somehow escaped from the pond, I can see everything, and I’m disgusted by how I thought about him.

Yup, correct, that brings back to “I just want to die, happily.”

What happen? Oh, I was walking down the street this evening and again, as usual he’s outside. But this time, he’s with someone. No, not a girl, a boy. Ya, good point, maybe he’s gay.

He didn’t saw me, which I find that lucky right now. He’s with a friend, playing basketball. And then suddenly I heard something bad, badly bad:


“***********”

I don’t even want to remember it. It was really bad. It’s not the F word or any word. You can really cry if he says that out loud in your face.

I couldn’t concentrate on where I’m going. In the end, I gathered my logic skills and went straight back home, abandoning the thought of buying an ice cream, or two (inside joke).

I stared at him when I passed his house again, just to make sure that he’s real. He’s ugly.
I sat back home, in my room, reading though my diary where I described C as my prince. And I raised goose bumps it was like watching "The Unborn" all over and over again.

Love is irrational,
I keep reminding myself,
The more you love somebody,
The less sense anything makes you.
XOXO
JorDan T.

SOS Emergency

Anyone who can contact Li Voon ASAP, please pass this message to her:

Heng Yun’s birthday is on the 17th of November.

If you couldn’t remember the name, the person is well-known as “laugh-like-horse-person”.

Li Voon’s on her holiday in Taiwan and I don’t know when she’ll be back. If you happen to call her and she happens to pick up the phone, please pass my massage to her. She’ll know what to do, unless you cannot trust her intelligence (according to the famous psychologist – Helen Campbell’s report, 17.342% of Ms. Loke Li Voon’s time of life’s could be sudden-stupidness), inform her to contact me ASAP.

The faith of Heng Yun on Li Voon and me lies in your hands, people. So please cooperate with us. Your help will be appreciated. Or rewarded, as well.

Desperately, I really need your help, for this one time, please. Forgive me for what I’ve done to you in the past. I know some of you hate me, take it this way: Do it for Li Voon – the kind, never-hating, always-know-what’s-best-for-you creature. *Crying desperately, sobs breaking every sentence I said.*

Please… I beg you, please…

XOXO + :(
JorDan T.

A Drug Called Sims 2

Drop it, Nicole. I’m not admitting anything here. This post is not about me, it’s about my sister.

Yup, you heard me, Nicole, my sister – the person who calls you disgusting. And she has the same hobby with you – playing the Sims 2. You know what? We should exchange souls so that you can be with her 24/7.

She never lived through 12 hours without this so-called-addicting game. But ironically, though I’m the one who come up with the game, the one who played better than her sis can’t find anything interesting in the game. In fact, I hate it.

Once, she actually stayed up till 2a.m. to play the game because she’s busy all day. She missed it and decided to abandon her sleep to spend time with Sims 2. I could almost hear her quoting Bella Swan.

“The Sims 2 is like a drug to me. I just can’t stop. Every time I turn around, I can still see it. And when it’s not with me, it felt like a deep hole is being punched through my heart. I rather die than be with any game but it. I want NOTHING more than to be with it. ”

Oh, god. My sister is worse than a lesbian.

Meanwhile, I was exploring people’s blog. Link to link, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Boring, Boring, Boring…

Until, I went to someone’s blog. It’s not the entries who intrigued me; it’s the name of the blog:

“Crying Doesn’t Make Me Weak, It Means I Care.”

Something like that. Hmm…

“Crying means you care… which means you’re crying for some guys who doesn’t even care about you, which goes back to your own word – you are weak. And not to mention idiotic.”

You see, that’s my problem. I turn a very inspiring, heart-breaking quote into a complete ass. Maybe that’s why some people hate me.

XOXO
JorDan T.


PS. I still couldn’t decide where to go on 18th December till 20th December. My mum is talking about a boring hill trip and take it from me, it’s more boring than it sounds, because you don’t climb your way to the top, you seat silently at the back seat of the car while your parents enjoy the meant-for-oldies-breeze. So leave a comment to help me decide a location before I’m stuck with photo graphing boring-scenery-that-you-could-get-it-on-the-internet.

Mind Over Matter

I found myself really impress with Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter. Yes, it’s a bit too late to watch it but I don’t care. The movie sucks anyway, I prefer the book. I am very disappointed with the movie and I have no idea why Harry chooses Ginny over Cho. Ginny is so ugly.

Ok, back to point. I’m impressed because, FYI Lord Voldemort got his name by unscrambling his real name. Perhaps this could explain more:

TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE

=

I AM LORD VOLDEMORT

Impressive, huh?

I tried mine:

Jordan Tang Ching Yee

=

I need JT or Chang Gnay

I think Chang Gnay is a person.

Or:

Jordan Tang Ching Yee

=

I need gay JT nor Chang

No, stick to the first one. Justin Timberlake is so NOT gay! He’s the most attractive man in the world. Why cant my name make “lord” or “lady” or “exclusive” but “gay’??? I really need to change my name.

XOXO

Jordan T.

Time For Speechlessness

Do you think you can handle the truth meaning of love?

I’ve watched this comedy called The Ugly Truth and it taught me a lot of things about boys. I know the movie is 18SG but I just couldn’t help it, Gerard Butler is so hot. Well, anyway, this movie is very meaningful, for girls. So girls, just in case you don’t have a chance to watch it, here’s some valuable lesson I’ve learned:

First, never ever talk about your problem to your boyfriend because they don’t really listen or care. They don’t really expect a full answer when they ask “Hey, so what’s up with you today?” And if they did say something when you burled up your problems, they’re probably just pretending to be considerate.

Next, Do Not Criticize when you’re on a date, boys are incapable of growth, change or progress. For boys, self-improvement ends at toilet training. And also try not to take control of everything on a date, they hate that.

Ok, this is very important, laugh at whatever your boyfriend says, even when the joke is fucking cold. A fake laugh means a fake humor. A fake humor is better than no humor at all. You’re not the only person in the room so let’s don’t be selfish. I have no idea of the meaning of what I’ve just said so let’s move on to the next point.

Now lastly, DO break up with your boyfriend if you found out he doesn’t love who you are. The tips above are just for the first date. After that, you must try to be YOURSELF. If he thinks that you’re suddenly all weird and maybe you’re drunk, end it because you know this couldn’t last forever. BE BRAVING!!!

Take Penelope as example. She dated Chain just to prove to everyone and lie to herself that she’s over Daniel. And it turned out that Chain’s not-Penelope’s-type pissed Penelope off and she have to break up with him and yet again, another heart was broken. And now Penelope went back to the time when she screams on every sight of Daniel and spying on him. I knew exactly what I’m doing because I’m 100% sure that Chain wouldn’t read my blog even for world peace. Or not.

Now you know the truth about love. But can you handle it?

XOXO

Jordan T.

Complication

There are two type of cover on the latest issue of Galaxie magazine: the Jacob cover and the Edward cover.

I couldn't select either one of them so I buy both. And then regret it.

I'm always on Jacob side, now I know that. He's not dark and creepy, he's funny and loud. He doesn't have a octagon face like Edward, he's is prefect and cute. And he's a hunky 17.

Not only because of his physical looks, he understands you because he's your best friend. What's the meaning of life if you marry some guy who doesn't even understands you?

Oh great, now I've chosen Taylor Lautner over Justin Bieber. I know I'm not loyal to him but this could be forgiven, I mean, look at him:

Admit it, he's way cuter than these two:

I still couldn't figure out why Bella choose Edward over Jacob. Not that he's rich right?

XOXO
Jordan T.

From Waiter To Superstar

Breaking News…

Junior Boy Changed Innocent Waiter’s Life

Every employee in town loves Saturday, because the day after that they’ll be screaming out loud, stripping off their clothes enjoying the Sunday-day-off. But since the SJK(C)Keong Hoe dinned in a nothing-special-restaurant, NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME (to one certain waiter),

So this waiter, who happens to be the chosen one, started thinking about his salary and his miserable life when the pupils rushed in to the restaurant. Because his job is to serve the food, nothing else special.

Meanwhile, F boy and J boy were making dares. The one will be named the King Of Dares will be the one who fulfill most dares. When it came to F’s turn, J dared him to ask an autograph from one of the waiter. To keep up the spirit, F proudly said “BRING IT ON, PUNK!” All the students around the table applause as if he’s going to be the hero who saves the princess.

F took a Maggie cup mee and approached the mentioned waiter. His steps are firm, making sure that his breath is bearable.

“Can you sign on this cup?”
“Huh? You want to fill this cup with hot water?”
“No, sign this.” F handed him a pen. “You so handsome.” F persuaded the waiter with a grammar-eroded compliment.

The waiter was dazzled. He grabbed the pen and signed his name on the paper. And without even thinking what he was doing, he drew a smiley face. F thanked him and ran to his admiring fans.

That night, the waiter locked himself in his room. Thinking about how he spent six years in Yale and ended up being a waiter in crappy restaurant. F’s words touched his heart. He looked himself in the mirror.

“I am handsome” He told himself. The next thing he knew, he’s going to make a change…

After a few months, the waiter was rumored modeling for Play Boy magazine and signing a contract for playing Chris Pine’s stuntman in Star Trek 2.

Who knows whether the rumor is true?

XOXO
Jordan T.

C-Hottie In Town

List Of Misery
1. The whole school knows I, the junior loser has a crush on Senior Hottie, C. Biggest humiliation of my life.

After C graduated, I built up my life, I swore to heaven:

I AM NEVER GOING TO SEE HIM AGAIN.

I started high school, started a new life, I got over him, slapping every person that mentioned his name.

After a few weeks, the list goes on.....

2. I saw a ghost across the school gate. I tried not to remember his name. I stood there looking like an idiot, trying to figure out the whole C-hottie thing. Ok, I just saw him once what could possibly go wrong?

After a few weeks I see him too. And I am 100% okay with it. I don't think he recongnizes me, with my hair cropped short. It's ok...

But sadly, the list goes on.....

3. OMG! My ex-crush turns out to be-----my NEIGHBOUR??!!

Friday, morning--I sat at the threshold wearing my shoes. I was ready to go to my previous school to receive my scholarship. RM50 for 6A's, 50% off if I get 6A's.

And this is how it happened...Hottie in hot sports-wear with a hot walk and hot freaking breezing-hairwalked past my door. Next door neighbourglanced up and asked C:

"Hi, I thought you should at school right now."

"I'm in the afternoon session." answers C.

"Where do you live?"

"Oh, just in front, I just moved here," C flashed his hypnotizing smile at her.

Okay, I must be dreaming. This is a nightmare. He's not real.

Unfortunately, when I went to school, the above statement isn't true.

C-hottie is back. He's in my neighbourhood. I'm not going out for the rest of my life. I have to change my name! Um, Megan Tang...Hazel Tang...

No, make it Megan de Scanio.

4. C-Hottie wakes up every morning at 8am for a morning jog.

I just want to die. Happily.

XOXO
JorDan T

The Ugly Truth

Spotted : Senior girl,V dating junior boy,T .

Love is selfish, just like New Moon, a love triangle is made between V, T and V's BFF. V found out her BFF had a secret crush on T. and V got "a little too" dramatic. But V and T moved along, not showing regard to V's BFF. Poor thing, but does she had anything to do with the next story?

V and T's got called to the office after Ms.F caught V and T holding hands. Before going into the teacher's office, T held V's hand, again. V's father saw it and slaps T. They say love cures everything, looks like love haven't meet V's father yet.

V was 'so' under depression and confusion. One lovely afternoon, she went into the bathroom and try to commit suicide by strangling herself. Wonder if her heart's got tangled? Luckily the weapon knows life is precious, instead of dying, V fainted. That's how V (almost) lost a life to a junior so heartless. Move along V...

At the end, V got transferred to another school, full of bitches, to start a new life. Without T.




The truth is always ugly,
XOXO
JorDan T.

Gah, Yolk Getting Married. To Human

I half-ran to the classroom and blurted out the news, shouting to the Anti-Yolk club committee. "(Violent words I prefer not to repeat or rethink or remember)," catching every breath when I said that.

(The committee's reactions are in bold)

Opening and closing their mouth like a goldfish.

“That’s right.”

One took off her glasses.
“Yup, you heard me, she’s getting married.”

Almost got stroke, high-blood pressure and hernia.

“To human. Human, I repeat, human.”

speechless…

“Can you actually believe it? Some human, actually wants yolk. Can you imagine her walking down the aisle, wearing a wedding gown – yellow, La Quire’s design, kissing somebody after she says ‘I do’.”
Shivering and raising goose bumps, somebody ran into the bathroom.

Our most loyal member, Sue, aka Idiot/Idiot Sue finally said something after the stroke.

“Perhaps to an egg white?”

That broke the silence. Everyone burst into laughter.

“Yolk and Egg White? They make a perfect couple.”

“No, they make a perfect omelet”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… …!!!”

The joke lasted until after school.

“Jordan, Yolk’s getting married… haha,” Vien said that before she stepped into her car.

For a second, I knew she wasn’t kidding. Yolk is getting married. The engagement ring on her middle finger said so. I wonder who’s the unlucky man? I mean, look at her:
The man must be an imposter. Well, I’ll tell you what did the man looks like when I heard more news.

XOXO

The Shortest Post

I always want my post to be as short as possible, but I couldn't just stop making the sentence longer. That's why I got B in the summary part in exam. And at last, after millions of practicing, I manage to post the shortest post in the world - the post before this, entitled "Justin Bieber". Scroll down for more info.

Click this to erase the question marks in your head
He's just 15 years old. Can you believe it? Talented he is! He's gonna be the future Jesse McCartney. But I have to admit, the first time I heard this song, it was on the radio. And I thought it was a girl who sing this. Sorry, Justin!
XOXO

Justin Bieber

Rocks!!!

XOXO

The Invention of Hottness

This post is meant for the girls. Boys, be careful, cause the next thing you know might be dumped by your girl.

I’d like to thank god that god has created a lot of hotties. And so, it’s because of these hotties that make the girls scream at the first sight of them.

Admit it; their unbelievable gorgeousness is practically the thing that makes the world go round.

Temptation is automatically formed when you see this picture.


Just like video games, this is the one and only reason you fail your test. You cant take your eyes off him.

I know I have no more than 6% of fighting chance, but aren’t them just something to look at? Apparently all the girls agree with me.

Well, back to reality. XOXO

Yolk, you go to hell

The teacher finally found a chance to humiliate me and make me feel guilty in front of everyone. Well, technically she didn’t because her plan didn’t work at it backfired back to herself.

As a quick introduction, I hate my Chinese teacher, Yolk. We (the anti-yolk club) call her that because she keeps wearing the same outfit – a yellow hideous outfit. She hates us as we hate her too (huh?). We want her out of our life and go screw herself. Plus, she grows a mustache which I realize it’s getting worse (darker, more obvious) when she called me up to the front to challenge her.

You see, I made a sour face when I saw that poisonous bitch approaching to our class when she’s not supposing to. There’s this fixed procedure called “Yolk comes in, your good day ruined.” Why would the original teacher left us stuck with that douche?

“Do whatever you like,” she said to us. Sue came to my place to accept free tutoring on Math. And then it happened. “Sue, what are you doing?” Oh great, can’t I even have a life? I told her “Sue’s weak at Math, I have to tutor her” in a loud than usual voice – just in case she got problems with her ears too.

Yolk took her chance. “Jordan, that is very impolite of you! Came up front,” she flipped a fifthly book and pointed at something.

Great, she want to talk law, if she expect a happily deduction, she don’t know Jordan Tang Ching Yee. “I got the right to deduct your marks you know.” She used her signature sign – trying to incriminate you by staring at you deeply with her piercing eyes, the devil she is. BUT! I’m stronger! I let her stare at me. Either she got tired of waiting or she realizes that her trick doesn’t work on her or whatever it is; she said “What should you do?”

“Sorry, teacher” there is no such sorry in my voice. I went back to my seat. After she was gone, my Anti-yolk club got bigger.

I haven’t missed the words “whatever you like” though. Luckily I got such great friends; they stick me up when I got bullied by a jerky slut. I feel better now, we even wrote a song about her. We even joked about her mustache, suspecting her as a transsexual. Long live, Anti-yolk club! Curse you yolk! Curse you won’t be respected but treated like egg yolks when you got old. And you’ll die with regret!

So here I am, ranting on yolk. I’m gonna treat this bowl like yolk and kick her ass. 1.62 seconds later:

P.S. Learned a valuable lesson here: Never infuriate your teacher when she’s the one who marks your exam.
XOXO

Does this count as success?

I did this for my art homework. It's suppose to look like this.



I tried my best and turns out to be:

I dont know about the hair. I did this for the fourth time. It's not as easy as poke-a-hole-through-it-and-remove-the-fillings. You have to melt wax in it so it wont fall no matter how violent you rock it. I broke the first one, my sister cracked the second, the third one is so ugly that I have to smash it to give myself an excuse – which turns out to be proof that I’m an idiot. I hope this survives.

Check out how I infuriate it.



She looked angry. It's kindda cute too anyway. I repeated that for... dont know, I lost count when I got to 62. In the end, her heart stopped beating.

Poor Mrs. Puff. Looks like I'm ending up in hell anyway. XOXO

Read This ONCE In Your Life Time

Warning: This entry might cause some troubles, revenges and some lecture. Therefore, do not excess recommended reading times.

HOW TO BE EVIL!!!
This entry includes a personal trainer called Jordan.

Good morning/afternoon/evening/night/midnight. Today, I’m gonna give you a few tips on how to be Evil. It’s something I’ve experienced so don’t tell me “This is an impossible task!”

P.S. I didn’t get paid for tutoring you.
  1. I was at Borders in the other day.
    “Hey you! Don’t buy Stephenie Mayer’s, she sucks. Her book is Bo-Ring.”
    I lied to the Twilight-book-flipping-and-just-walked-away-stranger. Oh please, the Twilight saga is my favorite book!
  2. Fake gun? Check! Spare fake gun? Check! Blonde wig? Check! Spare blond wig? Check!
    I took a long, deep breath and rush into the KFC kitchen.
    “Hand out the food and no one gets hur- Oops, sorry… Wrong room.”
    This is considered Evil if you remember check the label on the door. Just ignore the fact that I rushed into the Men’s room.
  3. There’s something in my friend’s hair.
    “You got something in your hair.”
    “Where?”
    “Nothing, just kidding. Haha!”
  4. I’m drinking my coffee, sitting on the kitchen table while talking on the phone with my friend. My maid came in and wipes the table.
    “Hang on a sec, Nic – Hey, you missed a spot.”
    “Where?”
    I spilled the coffee on the table. “There.” I laughed until my tummy hurts.
    She. Was. Pissed.

Try this and you’ll end up in hell.

Fine, I lied about SOME of the tips. XOXO

I'm So Addicted To You... Tube (haha)

There's a song called "Addicted" by 3 Doors Down. The crazy me spoof it to something very bad, rude, awkward. You don't want to know...

It's a very good song, I really like it, and I've ruined it. Bad Jorddy, Jorddy no no ruining people's song, bad Jorddy, no cookie for you! (blek!)


The point about this article isn't ruining a song. It's a bout YouTube. I really love You Tube, it brought life in me, my superhuman-website-version. Except the fact that it never save my life. But still, I never care to know who the creator is.

There's a comedian call Nigahiga, his videos are hot searches in YouTube. Just in case you're too lazy to even move a muscle, here's some links to his fantabulous (fabulous+fantastic, exist in Jordan's vocabulary) clip.

There's more, but I'm too lazy to insert some more hyperlinks. Check it out and leave a comment below on what do you think of the video. XOXO

Breaking News

Head Line: Latest Killer on the Loose: SMJK Phor Tay's Geography Folio killed 45 students in a single night

Ok, the kill thing is too far, but it’s making them INSANE! The student’s parents tried to convince their child to visit a therapy. Some of them even end up living with a psychiatrist, unable to move even an inch because they are wrapped with tapes.

Ok, I’m joking, they’re not wrapped. Wait a minute, this is supposed to be a newspaper, and papers don’t joke around. Ok, serious now. The headmaster of SMJK Phor Tay wouldn’t answer any questions because he thinks its ridicules.

According to Tang Ching Yee, a student from 1A2, known as Jordan by her pals, Bitch-face by her sister, can’t stop ranting about the folio. This is what she said to the media

“I know I’ve killed a lot of things. Like my vacuum cleaner and several of insects. I understand if I receive punishments. But this is beyond what I expect! I donate money to old folks and orphans. I don’t deserve this! Why? Why? WHY?”

We interviewed the Sarah-Dessen-addicted – Nicole too.

“Stupid Geography is ruining my love life, that's why I'm going to grow old with cats.” (More at nicole0508.blogspot.com) and then she started laughing and talking about “I don’t care, I don’t care…”

Wow, this sounds fun: I don’t care! You don’t care! We don’t care! They don’t care! I don’t care, I don’t care, and I just don’t care! I never did! (Jordan: Hey, that’s my line!)

Fun’s over, or my boss will fire me. We want to know what the process of “making” the folio is, but all the pupils keep shouting. We tried to force out the story by feeding Jordan chocolates. Finally, it worked. (“Hey boss, I want a raise!” I glance over the dozens of empty chocolate boxes). This is what she said:

“It took a lot of searching, copying, pasting, backspacing and resources to make the easy-looking, hard-making, stupid-sounding, sucks-smelling and awful-felling bitchy-tive Geography folio.” She shouted the lyrics of “I Don’t Care” from FOB until her lungs burst out.

Great, this job is making me insane too. I need to go home, get some coffee. Or I’ll try climbing on to the roof like her. I hate my job; the singing is giving me a headache. (I vomited on someone and went straight back home.)

XOXO

Cool Down

I’ve found a way to cool down – sending an entry to express my angriness.

(Oops, broke the keypad, but it’s still working.)

I have two words to say: Anti-Geography! Wait, that’s only one word. Never mind, I’ll say it twice: ANTI-GEOGRAPHY! ANTI-GEOGRAPHY!

I hate Geography, not just because it’s boring, it comes with a teacher that sucks in the package too. What a coincidence! Boring + sucks, just like my Chinese version of Harry Potter series.

Speaking of Geography, it reminds me of History too. It didn’t come with a sucking teacher but a weird-language one. He sounded like a bird trying to speak wolf. I don’t have the faintest idea what he is saying during his class. I end up nodding my head whenever he said something that sounded like “Understand?”

Oh great. Now his weird language ended up crowding in my head. I’ll try to get rid of it before I go to sleep and have a nightmare. Something like mum remarried and my step-father is him.

Oh great, now I can’t stop shuddering. Time for All American Rejects in maximum volume at YouTube. XOXO

My First Strike

I made my first strike of reckless, bones-risking stunts. Mature people like mum would kill me if she knows I’m doing risking actions. Good thing this topic never came up.

It’s Monday, the seventh of September. I’m not sure why I’m not going to school, its Monday, weird. I’m about to hunt the kitchen – my hobby, doing it when I’m bored – but an idea came up after I watched the music video of Break Away from Kelly Clarlkson (mind the spelling).

This seems like a very good time. Mum, dad and bro are not home, sis is, well, sis-styling in her room, she won’t even notice if I’ve burnt the house down. This is it, I left a note on my bed room door – call 911 if you heard a scream, don’t tell mum or I’ll kick your ass. I took my shoe and went out to the balcony. I’ve seen my dad did this, about 4 years ago. So, I made sure that my pants are still on and start hoping up against the pole, reaching for the roof.

I don’t know how but I made it – and surprisingly I didn’t hurt my pants – I’m. On. The. Top. I applauded to myself mentally, proud to be the second in the family who climb all the way to the house roof. I should’ve brought the camera, and the press! And then I remembered that cats usually do this. Wow, I have a lot to learn!

I know this is crazy but, I actually made moose and wolf sounds up there. It’s kindda neat and childish way, and I swear I just saw a cat escape in terror from this theatrical place. I remind myself, I’m just a few feet from the ground, and this is no Mount Everest. Wait, I can see Paris from here, Bonjue!!! Just Kidding!!! Ha ha, it never gets old…

I sat down for a moment, and rested my chin on my knees. Maybe if I have a chance, I can host a party up here. Wake Up, Jordan! The roof is already making cracking noise with a 51kg-innocent-and-sweet-girl-feeling-the-loneliness-of-life-(fine) or-evil-plans on it. The whole house will topple down if she invited her twin sister. Ok, I’m going way too far. I’m not that innocent, or sweet, maybe a little sweet, I make honey cookies for grandma every Sunday – does that count?

Why can I hear growling sound? I looked around to check and see if some super-flying-dog exists up here too. Oh wait, it’s my tummy. I climb down unwillingly. This time I didn’t go to the kitchen where my tummy leads me. I ignored it and went to sis’s room instead.

“You want to know what I did”
“No” Oh, please, she didn’t even glance up.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, get out,” she threw a pillow at me. Bad Sis!!! I’ll seek for revenge by calling help from The Super Flying Doggie (the latest, adorable, cute version).

I’ll call you when I do it again. XOXO

Weird Family

I never know how I meet them, or where do they come from. The only thing I know is, they are weird. It all started when I was born.

I flip back through the years in my mind until I found a memory. I couldn’t remember what happened before that. I opened my eyes and found myself eyeing on the huge cookie the same person who changed my diapers was holding. She just stared at me with a smirk on her face. And then, she left and brought a bottle full of disgusting white stuff. I narrowed my eyes and tried to demonstrate what I want. Too late, couldn’t see her now. I ended up playing with the cream-coloured, nasty-smelling liquid.

I don’t know where my sis comes from. She just suddenly appears in my life. And so is my bro.

TODAY:

You are always welcome to my house; I always have time to entertain you, you can even come and kick a mess and butt home, I don’t mind. But still the only reason I don’t have much visitors is: my family is weird. Please regard these facts before visiting my house.

KNOWING MY FAMILY:

My dad is suffering from mid-life-crisis; I couldn’t think of any other word, though, suffering isn’t a suitable word in this situation. He listens to Black Eyed Peas on You Tube and believe it or not, he’s a huge fan of Lady Gaga. He keeps singing Boom Boom paw and Poker Face to cheer him up whenever he’s feeling old. Unbelievable!!!

My mum, well, she’s not quite able to accept the fact that she had already past her late thirties. She has obsessive-compulsive-disorder and that’s what makes me miserable. She pinches me hard on the arm whenever she thinks my room is not tidy enough.

My sis is the total opposite of me. She hates English. This is what she does when she reads English novels: She flips the first page of the 125 page book after thousands of encouragement from me. (Three minutes later) “This is boring”, she tossed the book out of her sight. Wait a minute; this is when I read a Chinese novel I was describing. No lying here, no need to doubt me. This is a Confession Corner.

So is this weird enough for you? Wait until you see my sister dancing and playing with food in her room. I have a weird family, but I like it just the way it is.

XOXO

Foreword

I don’t have the faintest idea why I’m creating this blog. Maybe I’m influenced by my friend’s continuous nag about writing.

I don’t care if no one wants to read it. I probably don’t even care if the entry is lame. Because I just DON’T CARE, I never did. I heard that happy-go-lucky people live longer. Oops!

So if you’re still interested in reading my entry, do me a favor, don’t spread it out because it contains… teenagive (is that even a word?) stuff. The kind of stuff adults shake their heads and think that we’re reckless after doing the life-risking stunts we like to call FUN. Yet again, I don’t care, teen’s just being teens.

Good luck reading it. So yeah, screw you.

P.S. My parents didn’t exactly approve this. I never told them because, well, it never came up, which turns out to be the weakest excuse I have. Just move along…

XOXO