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Does this count as success?

I did this for my art homework. It's suppose to look like this.



I tried my best and turns out to be:

I dont know about the hair. I did this for the fourth time. It's not as easy as poke-a-hole-through-it-and-remove-the-fillings. You have to melt wax in it so it wont fall no matter how violent you rock it. I broke the first one, my sister cracked the second, the third one is so ugly that I have to smash it to give myself an excuse – which turns out to be proof that I’m an idiot. I hope this survives.

Check out how I infuriate it.



She looked angry. It's kindda cute too anyway. I repeated that for... dont know, I lost count when I got to 62. In the end, her heart stopped beating.

Poor Mrs. Puff. Looks like I'm ending up in hell anyway. XOXO

Read This ONCE In Your Life Time

Warning: This entry might cause some troubles, revenges and some lecture. Therefore, do not excess recommended reading times.

HOW TO BE EVIL!!!
This entry includes a personal trainer called Jordan.

Good morning/afternoon/evening/night/midnight. Today, I’m gonna give you a few tips on how to be Evil. It’s something I’ve experienced so don’t tell me “This is an impossible task!”

P.S. I didn’t get paid for tutoring you.
  1. I was at Borders in the other day.
    “Hey you! Don’t buy Stephenie Mayer’s, she sucks. Her book is Bo-Ring.”
    I lied to the Twilight-book-flipping-and-just-walked-away-stranger. Oh please, the Twilight saga is my favorite book!
  2. Fake gun? Check! Spare fake gun? Check! Blonde wig? Check! Spare blond wig? Check!
    I took a long, deep breath and rush into the KFC kitchen.
    “Hand out the food and no one gets hur- Oops, sorry… Wrong room.”
    This is considered Evil if you remember check the label on the door. Just ignore the fact that I rushed into the Men’s room.
  3. There’s something in my friend’s hair.
    “You got something in your hair.”
    “Where?”
    “Nothing, just kidding. Haha!”
  4. I’m drinking my coffee, sitting on the kitchen table while talking on the phone with my friend. My maid came in and wipes the table.
    “Hang on a sec, Nic – Hey, you missed a spot.”
    “Where?”
    I spilled the coffee on the table. “There.” I laughed until my tummy hurts.
    She. Was. Pissed.

Try this and you’ll end up in hell.

Fine, I lied about SOME of the tips. XOXO

I'm So Addicted To You... Tube (haha)

There's a song called "Addicted" by 3 Doors Down. The crazy me spoof it to something very bad, rude, awkward. You don't want to know...

It's a very good song, I really like it, and I've ruined it. Bad Jorddy, Jorddy no no ruining people's song, bad Jorddy, no cookie for you! (blek!)


The point about this article isn't ruining a song. It's a bout YouTube. I really love You Tube, it brought life in me, my superhuman-website-version. Except the fact that it never save my life. But still, I never care to know who the creator is.

There's a comedian call Nigahiga, his videos are hot searches in YouTube. Just in case you're too lazy to even move a muscle, here's some links to his fantabulous (fabulous+fantastic, exist in Jordan's vocabulary) clip.

There's more, but I'm too lazy to insert some more hyperlinks. Check it out and leave a comment below on what do you think of the video. XOXO

Breaking News

Head Line: Latest Killer on the Loose: SMJK Phor Tay's Geography Folio killed 45 students in a single night

Ok, the kill thing is too far, but it’s making them INSANE! The student’s parents tried to convince their child to visit a therapy. Some of them even end up living with a psychiatrist, unable to move even an inch because they are wrapped with tapes.

Ok, I’m joking, they’re not wrapped. Wait a minute, this is supposed to be a newspaper, and papers don’t joke around. Ok, serious now. The headmaster of SMJK Phor Tay wouldn’t answer any questions because he thinks its ridicules.

According to Tang Ching Yee, a student from 1A2, known as Jordan by her pals, Bitch-face by her sister, can’t stop ranting about the folio. This is what she said to the media

“I know I’ve killed a lot of things. Like my vacuum cleaner and several of insects. I understand if I receive punishments. But this is beyond what I expect! I donate money to old folks and orphans. I don’t deserve this! Why? Why? WHY?”

We interviewed the Sarah-Dessen-addicted – Nicole too.

“Stupid Geography is ruining my love life, that's why I'm going to grow old with cats.” (More at nicole0508.blogspot.com) and then she started laughing and talking about “I don’t care, I don’t care…”

Wow, this sounds fun: I don’t care! You don’t care! We don’t care! They don’t care! I don’t care, I don’t care, and I just don’t care! I never did! (Jordan: Hey, that’s my line!)

Fun’s over, or my boss will fire me. We want to know what the process of “making” the folio is, but all the pupils keep shouting. We tried to force out the story by feeding Jordan chocolates. Finally, it worked. (“Hey boss, I want a raise!” I glance over the dozens of empty chocolate boxes). This is what she said:

“It took a lot of searching, copying, pasting, backspacing and resources to make the easy-looking, hard-making, stupid-sounding, sucks-smelling and awful-felling bitchy-tive Geography folio.” She shouted the lyrics of “I Don’t Care” from FOB until her lungs burst out.

Great, this job is making me insane too. I need to go home, get some coffee. Or I’ll try climbing on to the roof like her. I hate my job; the singing is giving me a headache. (I vomited on someone and went straight back home.)

XOXO

Cool Down

I’ve found a way to cool down – sending an entry to express my angriness.

(Oops, broke the keypad, but it’s still working.)

I have two words to say: Anti-Geography! Wait, that’s only one word. Never mind, I’ll say it twice: ANTI-GEOGRAPHY! ANTI-GEOGRAPHY!

I hate Geography, not just because it’s boring, it comes with a teacher that sucks in the package too. What a coincidence! Boring + sucks, just like my Chinese version of Harry Potter series.

Speaking of Geography, it reminds me of History too. It didn’t come with a sucking teacher but a weird-language one. He sounded like a bird trying to speak wolf. I don’t have the faintest idea what he is saying during his class. I end up nodding my head whenever he said something that sounded like “Understand?”

Oh great. Now his weird language ended up crowding in my head. I’ll try to get rid of it before I go to sleep and have a nightmare. Something like mum remarried and my step-father is him.

Oh great, now I can’t stop shuddering. Time for All American Rejects in maximum volume at YouTube. XOXO

My First Strike

I made my first strike of reckless, bones-risking stunts. Mature people like mum would kill me if she knows I’m doing risking actions. Good thing this topic never came up.

It’s Monday, the seventh of September. I’m not sure why I’m not going to school, its Monday, weird. I’m about to hunt the kitchen – my hobby, doing it when I’m bored – but an idea came up after I watched the music video of Break Away from Kelly Clarlkson (mind the spelling).

This seems like a very good time. Mum, dad and bro are not home, sis is, well, sis-styling in her room, she won’t even notice if I’ve burnt the house down. This is it, I left a note on my bed room door – call 911 if you heard a scream, don’t tell mum or I’ll kick your ass. I took my shoe and went out to the balcony. I’ve seen my dad did this, about 4 years ago. So, I made sure that my pants are still on and start hoping up against the pole, reaching for the roof.

I don’t know how but I made it – and surprisingly I didn’t hurt my pants – I’m. On. The. Top. I applauded to myself mentally, proud to be the second in the family who climb all the way to the house roof. I should’ve brought the camera, and the press! And then I remembered that cats usually do this. Wow, I have a lot to learn!

I know this is crazy but, I actually made moose and wolf sounds up there. It’s kindda neat and childish way, and I swear I just saw a cat escape in terror from this theatrical place. I remind myself, I’m just a few feet from the ground, and this is no Mount Everest. Wait, I can see Paris from here, Bonjue!!! Just Kidding!!! Ha ha, it never gets old…

I sat down for a moment, and rested my chin on my knees. Maybe if I have a chance, I can host a party up here. Wake Up, Jordan! The roof is already making cracking noise with a 51kg-innocent-and-sweet-girl-feeling-the-loneliness-of-life-(fine) or-evil-plans on it. The whole house will topple down if she invited her twin sister. Ok, I’m going way too far. I’m not that innocent, or sweet, maybe a little sweet, I make honey cookies for grandma every Sunday – does that count?

Why can I hear growling sound? I looked around to check and see if some super-flying-dog exists up here too. Oh wait, it’s my tummy. I climb down unwillingly. This time I didn’t go to the kitchen where my tummy leads me. I ignored it and went to sis’s room instead.

“You want to know what I did”
“No” Oh, please, she didn’t even glance up.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, get out,” she threw a pillow at me. Bad Sis!!! I’ll seek for revenge by calling help from The Super Flying Doggie (the latest, adorable, cute version).

I’ll call you when I do it again. XOXO

Weird Family

I never know how I meet them, or where do they come from. The only thing I know is, they are weird. It all started when I was born.

I flip back through the years in my mind until I found a memory. I couldn’t remember what happened before that. I opened my eyes and found myself eyeing on the huge cookie the same person who changed my diapers was holding. She just stared at me with a smirk on her face. And then, she left and brought a bottle full of disgusting white stuff. I narrowed my eyes and tried to demonstrate what I want. Too late, couldn’t see her now. I ended up playing with the cream-coloured, nasty-smelling liquid.

I don’t know where my sis comes from. She just suddenly appears in my life. And so is my bro.

TODAY:

You are always welcome to my house; I always have time to entertain you, you can even come and kick a mess and butt home, I don’t mind. But still the only reason I don’t have much visitors is: my family is weird. Please regard these facts before visiting my house.

KNOWING MY FAMILY:

My dad is suffering from mid-life-crisis; I couldn’t think of any other word, though, suffering isn’t a suitable word in this situation. He listens to Black Eyed Peas on You Tube and believe it or not, he’s a huge fan of Lady Gaga. He keeps singing Boom Boom paw and Poker Face to cheer him up whenever he’s feeling old. Unbelievable!!!

My mum, well, she’s not quite able to accept the fact that she had already past her late thirties. She has obsessive-compulsive-disorder and that’s what makes me miserable. She pinches me hard on the arm whenever she thinks my room is not tidy enough.

My sis is the total opposite of me. She hates English. This is what she does when she reads English novels: She flips the first page of the 125 page book after thousands of encouragement from me. (Three minutes later) “This is boring”, she tossed the book out of her sight. Wait a minute; this is when I read a Chinese novel I was describing. No lying here, no need to doubt me. This is a Confession Corner.

So is this weird enough for you? Wait until you see my sister dancing and playing with food in her room. I have a weird family, but I like it just the way it is.

XOXO

Foreword

I don’t have the faintest idea why I’m creating this blog. Maybe I’m influenced by my friend’s continuous nag about writing.

I don’t care if no one wants to read it. I probably don’t even care if the entry is lame. Because I just DON’T CARE, I never did. I heard that happy-go-lucky people live longer. Oops!

So if you’re still interested in reading my entry, do me a favor, don’t spread it out because it contains… teenagive (is that even a word?) stuff. The kind of stuff adults shake their heads and think that we’re reckless after doing the life-risking stunts we like to call FUN. Yet again, I don’t care, teen’s just being teens.

Good luck reading it. So yeah, screw you.

P.S. My parents didn’t exactly approve this. I never told them because, well, it never came up, which turns out to be the weakest excuse I have. Just move along…

XOXO